Girls Described Through Mathematics

The following equation proves something about society and girls. Credit is given to Joshua Vanderburg for originally presenting the idea to me (although it seems to have been floating around the internet); the first two lines are his, the rest is my own take on the proof.

• Girls require both time and money:
  GIRLS = TIME * MONEY
  
  
• We all know that time is money, so TIME = MONEY. By substitution, we now have:
  GIRLS = MONEY * MONEY
  
  
• This simplifies to:
  GIRLS = MONEY^2
  
  
• Money is said to be the cause of all evil, so if MONEY = EVIL, then we substitute to get:
  GIRLS = EVIL^2
  
  
• We now use the statement GIRLS = EVIL to substitute again:
  GIRLS = GIRLS^2
  
  
• Now we solve the equation. First, we set it equal to 0 by subtracting GIRLS from both sides.
  0 = GIRLS^2 - GIRLS
  
  
• Next, we factor out a GIRLS on the right side.
  0 = GIRLS(GIRLS - 1)
  
  
• By the Zero-Factor Property, either GIRLS = 0 or GIRLS - 1 = 0. Thus, the solutions are 0 and 1.
  
  

Our equation is true for GIRLS = 0 and GIRLS = 1. Amazingly enough, this is a perfect blend with society, and also the reason I like this particular equation. You can have no girls (be single) or one girl (married). The beauty of the equation is that it prevents illegal polygamy (GIRLS>1 will not work).